That Time That “The Site” Took Not One but Two Bitches to Not “The Site’s” Prom Since “The Site” Dropped Out of High School Its Freshman Year

Yep...two.

GOD, “The Site” was fat. (One of only a few examples where that has been the case, but it was one of the worst fatnesses – for sure!)

That’s though not the point of this post. The actual point has more to do with this song. “The Site” does not believe that there can be a return to innocence once one has left their innocence.

Furthermore, one cannot return to something that it never knew.


Still totes love the song, and the video is totes amawzing, too. Yeppers.

No what “The Site” actually wanted to talk about is “The Site’s” first, real sexual experience.

“The Site” defines all sexual activity previous to this moment as being molested and/or raped, whatever, but this moment, this defining moment at Cain’s Ballroom, on a Thursday night, going into Friday morning…this moment was when “The Site” finally took control, and said, “Hey Fuckers, totes gay! And “The Site” is picking the guy! Woohoo!!”

The reason why this 80’s Night at Cain’s Ballroom is the key to this awakening is that “The Site” scanned the dancehall until it saw what it was looking for…another homosexual. “The Site” sent over his two fag hags to make the deal, and “The Site” now finds itself in the bedroom of a 34-year-old man with an alleged Scottish accent. To make a long story short, after if was over, “The Site” wasn’t certain that it was gay. As it told fag hag numero uno, “it was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. Maybe it was wrong?” Anywho, about 48-hours later, “The Site” met Shaun, and then it was definitely certain that it was gay. Thank God! #platinumstargay

Was there a point? That’s a good question OSU…was there?


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