The Time “The Site” Entered a Drag Pageant for No Other Reason Than To Wear the Crown While Mowing the Lawn in a Pair of Stilettos

momma's got her cleanin' shoes on...yeppers.

“The Site” came out in a hand-sewn, Rococo-inspired gown with paniers, belladonna-tinged skin, pupils the size of dinner plates, bright hooker-red lips, and a handcrafted powdered wig that was about 3′ tall and weighed at least 7,71107kgs (of course made by “The Site”) along with a fine selection of gaudy jewels from Mr. Harry Hines.

The performance started with an opener of this song – perfectly lipsynched, perfectly executed. #TOTESGORG.

En serio!

After the opening, the first verse, and a chorus…the song then seamlessly mixed into a bad-ass remix of the song found below (again by “The Site”…the mixing, not the song, dumbass) at which point, it ripped off the gown leaving only the powdered wig, a lace bustier, the metal-wire paniers, and 7” stiletto hooker boots with thigh high stockings. Oh, and some panties or that shit would’ve been illegal. #HAIR


Still, that shit was mutherfuckin’ bad-mutherfuckin’ ass-fuckin’ fuckity fuck, fuckin’ awesome!

Bitch, I got you.

Unfortunately, if there were videos or photos taken of this evening, “The Site” is unaware of them…unless, this is the night that was shot for the…holy fuck…thinking it was that night…the night that Leah Camacho shot the main shots for her documentary about “The Site” becoming a drag queen for her University of Oklahoma film studies program – called “Life’s a Drag.” “The Site” is now super-curious as to what happened to that. The last known extant copy was stolen by a lesbian named Sherri. Hmmm…

Anywho, “The Site” was in a documentary, shot in Tulsa, Oklahoma back in 2003-ish called Life’s a Drag. Last it heard the documentary was used by some psychiatric nursing association to help people in the psych field understand inclusivity and diversity and transgenderism or something. They may have also been using it as a teaching tool for reasons why #conversiontherapy is necessary…who knows?

See…
PS And totes jus’ curious…but does #culturalappropriation mean that Whitney has to give this song back to Dolly, too? #Askin’4aFriend.

PPS AND TO BE CLEAR, not that “The Site” in anyway thinks that Ms. Houston should do so, or should have to do so…because this is one excellent motherfucking example of a cover that blew the original outta the motherfucking ballpark, and not just any old original, but a DOLLY PARTON MOTHERFUCKING ORIGINAL. (Since “The Site’s” tender, young, early years when Fox Channel 23 would play the good ol’ chicken ranch on Saturdays to cheaply fill air-time) has had nothing less than the most profound respect for Miss Dolly Parton, but Ms. Houston took Miss Parton’s song and MOTHERFUCKIN’ MINDBLOWN. PERIOD.

IF THAT’S NOT GOD-GIVEN MOTHERFUCKING TALENT THEN “THE SITE” DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS.


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