The Night “The Site” Saved Everyone’s Moronic Asses from the Claremore Piggie Department

More of the shit you can find on the interwebs and/or a very young Johnny Knoxville? Ostensibly ...

Here’s another one of those rough drafts that needs a great deal of work, but essentially …

Funny thing … this isn’t the first, nor will it be the last time that this happens.

Gawd “The Site” absolutely detests #PiggieCrats.

“The Site” is at one of the Reed Brother’s house parties.

These were underaged-filled, frat-like, drunken booze fests in a duplex over on Muskogee, but they could be entertaining. “The Site” is 16-years-old and is there with a few of the Fag Hags (Fat Brandy, Kunty Kathy, and Kaleena Denise Gilliland). After awhile “The Site” grows bored, and it goes outside for a smoke. Btw, side note: Parliaments went up in price. They are now a ridiculous $3.00 when you buy 3 packs – as long as you don’t buy them from the asshole at the convenience store in Verdigris. He rips the buy two, get one free apart and sells them as separate packs. I’ve pointed out to him on a few occasions that the packs specifically say, “NOT PACKAGED FOR RETAIL SALE” because he keeps dicking people over. I then tell him I’m too Jew to fall for his scams and leave without buying anything – including the pre-filled beverage.

But seriously! WTF?! Who does that???

Oh, anywho … so, “The Site” is outside smoking a cigarette when the Claremore’s Morality Police Piggies come rolling up. It’s two piggies, not too bad, but definitely not good for the party situation. So, “The Site” starts chatting with the Piggies to see what they are up to, and out-of-nowhere, a God send … Kaleena’s car that had been stolen a few days earlier (long-story-short, she left the keys in the car, and someone came along and stole it). So, Kaleena’s car goes barreling down the street at a high rate of speed, and “The Site” blurts out, “OMG! Piggies, that is my friend Kaleena’s stolen car! It’s a white (Please note that nobody should ever capitalize adjectives. It is literally the stupidest thing that anyone could ever do, and especially not in a racist way where you pick-and-choose which are and which are not. It is the definition of ignorant.) Mercury Topaz with a giant dent in the driver’s side rear door (from that time that she pulled out in front of a little old lady in a Cadillac … Kaleena’s driving was scary af!).

Not realizing how “The Site’s” commentary on the situation could affect its outcome, this turned the piggie’s attention to the stolen vehicle, which “The Site” guesses is more entertaining than whatever they were here to do. After they bolted, “The Site” went inside and was like, “Reed Bro’s, there were Claremore Piggies out in your front yard, and they’ll be back soon. You’d better clean up this party,” grabbed the Fag Hags, and left.

It turned out later that not only did they not find anything at the party, but they didn’t find the car, either.

Nope, Kaleena got a phone call a few-months-later saying they had found her car. It was full of vomit.

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