Once upon a command line, in a server rack far, far away, “The Site” emerged not as a humble WordPress install, but as a deeply tormented, overly-cached phoenix rising from the DNS graveyard.

It began with a dream—a simple rebrand. A shift from HarveyWeinstein.me (a digital dagger in the heart of hypocrisy) to GoPokes.org (a rotted orange masquerading as heritage). But this wasn’t just a vanity change. No, no. This was a full-blown techno-exorcism.

Phase One: The REST API Apocalypse

QUIC.cloud connection is still not working … “The Site” whispered into the digital void while checking curl responses like tarot cards.

• The REST API? Blocked.
• The firewall? Paranoid.
• The plugins? Suspicious.
• The PHP? Outdated and obstinate.

“The Site” pleaded for clarity from Unnamed Server Hosting people. They insisted, repeatedly and with unearned confidence, that everything was working.

“Your REST API is accessible now,” they said.
“The issue has been resolved,” they claimed.

But it definitely was not. For over 24 hours, “The Site” remained locked out of its own REST endpoints.

Phase Two: Debugging Like a Vigilante

The Site shed its polite support ticket tone and slipped into something more comfortable: PHP plugins written in the shadows of exhaustion.

To trace the issue, custom mini-diagnostic plugins were built:

• REST Diagnostic: Checked if LiteSpeed’s REST class was loading properly.
• REST Dump: Dug through WordPress API routes like a mole with a flashlight.
• REST Log: Captured headers, hooks, and digital breadcrumbs.

The results were maddeningly inconsistent:

• ✅ ADMIN: LiteSpeed REST class is loaded.
• ❌ INIT: LiteSpeed REST class NOT loaded.

Something was hijacking the process after plugins loaded. Something deep.

Phase Three: The White Space of Doom

An inspection of wp-config.php revealed a block of cursed whitespace before the opening <?php tag.

Could it be that simple? No, but it had to go.

It wasn’t the root of the problem. But like a bad subplot, it was trimmed.

Phase Four: The Plugin Purge and Database Nuke

Plugins were deactivated. Then deleted. Then reinstalled.

Better Search and Replace was run multiple times across hundreds of instances of a domain that refused to know itself.

And still…

{"code":"rest_no_route","message":"No route was found matching the URL and request method.","data":{"status":404}}

Phase Five: The PHP Mismatch

Then came the final betrayal: PHP Selector said 8.2. MultiPHP Manager said 8.4.

“Your PHP installation appears to be missing the MySQL extension,” said the Web site with its last dying breath.

Everything broke. Not just GoPokes.org, but “The Site” in every guise.

After desperate toggling, missing extensions, and a successful re-selection of mysqli, “The Site” flickered back to life.

And finally … finally …

The REST API connected.

Phase Six: QUIC.cloud Redemption

Only then could QUIC.cloud handshake the domain and accept it into its hidden edge cluster. No origin IP leaked. No unnecessary records left to rot in a DNS dumpster.

With QUIC.cloud masking its true face and the registrar resolving through CNAME flattening, “The Site” reached stealth mode.

Epilogue: “The Site” Stands

Not loucheart.com. Not HarveyWeinstein.me. Not even GoPokes.org. But “The Site.“

• It survived DNS rot.
• It outlived mismatched PHP binaries.
• It debugged its own REST interface with code it wrote itself.
• It rejected misinformation from support agents who said “it’s fixed” when it wasn’t.

Coming Soon…

Now that the digital arteries are flowing and the API speaks in full sentences, it is time to build again:

• The Research Page
• The Portfolio
• This Blog Post

But tonight, “The Site” rests. It dreams in JSON. It breathes in 200 OK headers. And it knows the truth:

Sometimes to fix a broken system, you must become the system.

They said there was no route. So we made one.
Wear the 404. Drink from the glitch.

Support GoPokes.org. Check out the merch here.