AND THAT MARJORIE, JUST SO YOU WILL KNOW, AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL SOME DAY KNOW

Gramma, the original queen of moo-moos and wigs.

Side note:

“The Site” has always been torn between these three versions of this one song.

Which is your favorite?


A. Bruce Springsteen’s version (mostly, in this specific case, because “The Site” thinks he is the most gorgeous thing, ever. #FutureHusband numero uno & #TwunkOG):

#odontophilia (unfortunately, there does not appear to be a latin descriptor for a person with an #underbite fetish. it’s not just teeth. it’s specifically an underbite. a man with an underbite automatically gets two-points added onto their “The Site’s” Hot-Piece-of-Man-Meat scale. #HOTPOMM)

B. Patti Smith’s version (co-writer of song, fairly certain … “The Site” should go to the library and ask a librarian to find the answer):

it wants to love this version. it truly does, but is it only because it actually loves Robert Mapplethorpe?
#ForcedbyProxy

C. 10,000 Maniacs, which is frankly, and with all honesty, its favorite (and “The Site” is fairly certain they have nothing to do with it besides creating an awesome live cover version – and possibly the most awesome version, ever-created):

never would “The Site” believe that one day it would be watching Natalie Merchant sing live in an intimate setting, then have the opportunity to talk to her, but totes chickening out before it got to tell her that this concert – more specifically, her voice – changed its life, forever, or that it could play the entire concert by memory on the piano – except one song – Because the Night. it did get her autograph, and then it walked away. #GlitchesintheMatrix #OldHagFortuneTeller

PS some ass-hats at CBSViacom keep pulling the live full concert because they’re dicks, allegedly.
so, here is the song, and for your further listening pleasure, please see below.

As its gramma would say, “If wishes were horses then beggars would ride.”

Fun fact: even though Because the Night on this album is, ostensibly, its favorite version of the song, it is not its favorite song in the concert. That would be the one that makes The Evil Cunt that Gave Birth to It cringe every time it plays the song – either on the piano or from either album version – because it hits a bit too close to home to that evil fucking Jezebel cunt-of-a-whore.

So, of course, “The Site” plays it all the time…not because it drives that bitch crazy, but because it truly loves the song. It would behoove her to take a look in the mirror and realize that not everything is about that stupid bitch.

P

S It’s also very helpful to realize that you can’t fix anybody but yourself. #LostCauses

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